Although I can’t relate to what you have been through because I haven’t had an abortion; I have been severely affected by abortion and have a unique perspective that you probably haven’t heard before. There are so many people who can encourage you in your healing, hurting and regret from your abortion experience but I wanted to write to you from my unique perspective.
So many of the words and stories that you hear about abortion will hurt; they will take you back to the day that you had your abortion…a place you likely don’t want to go. My hope is that even though this letter takes you back, it “frees” you in a way from the hurt, regret and the unknown of that choice that was made.
Twenty-six years ago my biological mother had an abortion when she was pregnant with me. The abortion took the life of my twin but miraculously, I survived. I know that I survived for a reason and one of the reasons, I’d like to think, is so that I could share love, forgiveness and truth with people like you who have been affected by abortion, especially those who have had one.
I hold no anger towards my biological mother; I know she was doing what she had been told and thought was best. I know that is common for many. I am aware that the clinics that offer abortions do not tell their clients about all of their options in a loving and open-minded way…they have one goal in mind- to sell the abortion. I also know that hurtful words can keep parents who have experienced an abortion from healing and forgiving themselves like they deserve.
You can’t take back the years that have been missed but you can prepare for the years that are ahead. No one deserves to live a life guarded and in bondage to past pain or regret so that’s why I’m writing you. I want to tell you what I see in my biological mother…the woman who aborted my twin, who attempted to abort me twice but also, the woman who gave me life.
As you read about her, please remember that your child sees you too. He/she sees your regret and your pain but most importantly, your beauty, your talents, your laughter, your hope…and even if it’s hard to accept or believe—they would forgive you too!
When I think of my biological mother (whom I have met) I think of the girl who was lied to, who was treated with disrespect by doctors who saw a dollar sign on her forehead and my heart aches for her. I wish I could have hugged her on the day of her abortion, held her hand and comforted her. I wish there were people who had told her she could do it…but the past is the past. To live in the past and wonder about the “what ifs” is pointless because here we are….
I want her to live in the present, to be free of the pain and to see herself as the beautiful woman that she is. She has so much to offer the world! She is caring, talented and gifted. She is an incredible mother to my 3 half sisters and I am so grateful that she raised them to be the women that they are becoming today. She is a loving and FUN grandmother. I am so glad that she gets to experience the joys of little ones running around every day. She deserves that!!
When I see her face in a picture, I see Jesus. He created her flawlessly! He, too, has forgiven her. In fact, he no longer keeps record of the past. I see change and I see hope. Ultimately, I see a gift from God! She is special and she means so much to me.
A past abortion can steal your life. You have to make the decision to overcome that. Not only do women deserve better than abortion; they deserve better than the aftermath of abortion. You can be free of this pain. You can forgive yourself. There is hope in the midst of pain due to a past abortion!
When you beat yourself up and feel like there’s no way to overcome…Always remember that you have ALREADY BEEN FORGIVEN.